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Learning about the cheating was hard enough. But living with the aftermath can be even more unpleasant. Your spouse cheated --- that, on its own, most likely destroyed your self-respect. Now, as the nights pass, you're beginning to wonder about your personal value. If you really want to know how to survive infidelity, you must start by rebuilding your self-respect.

The psychological black hole which was opened when you learned your partner cheated is difficult to understand for anybody who has not been through it. You experience numerous things. You feel mentally bashed and bruised. You really feel rage and jealousy. Your emotions are all wild and crazy. Unfortunately, due to human nature, you're directing a lot of your rage back at yourself.

Your imagination is running wild with images of the husband (or wife) having intimate relations with another person. And the nutty thing is you're blaming yourself, chastising yourself!

You are no doubt asking yourself: How could I've been so blind? Why was I so stupid? Is there something wrong with me? Does my mate still love me? Did everyone else know about it ? How can I show my face in public?

Do you see how very easy it is to put the blame on yourself? All of these emotions come from low self-esteem. Continuing down this path is likely to destroy your sense of self worth. You will start to believe, because you don't like your self, that nobody else ought to like you either.

I really hope you don't feel like I'm beating you up. That's the last thing I wish to do. In fact, I really want you to understand that what you're feeling is totally natural. Every single person that has been been faced with the problem of working out how to survive cheating has found themselves loaded with reservations.

All of the internal chaos you are feeling may actually start making you ill. It can become so unbearable you will quit eating and major depression will force you into total inactivity --- literally paralyzing you. When and if that point is reached, you will probably feel undeserving of help.

The number one thing you must do now is begin rebuilding your self-esteem. Even though the process might seem impossible, there are very simple steps you can undertake to realize your goal. It might take you a week --- or it might take a month --- but you have to work on it. It's your first step if you want to learn how how to survive an affair and have a contented and productive marriage once again .

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